Meaning
You can give someone an opportunity, good advice or the means to benefit, but you cannot force them to take it; in the end people act only as they choose. Usually said with resignation, often about ignored advice or resources left unused. Neutral proverb register; typically resigned or gently critical of someone who refuses help. Regional use: General English.
Origin
Often called the oldest English proverb still in everyday use. The earliest known record is the Old English Homilies of about 1175, which asks 'Hwa is thet mei thet hors wettrien the him self nule drinken', roughly who can water a horse that will not drink of its own accord; this citation is given in the Oxford Dictionary of Proverbs. John Heywood printed the saying in his 1546 collection ('A man maie well bring a horse to the water, But he can not make him drinke without he will'), and the anonymous 1602 play Narcissus offers another early form. A Chaucer origin is sometimes suggested, but the standard reference works cite the 1175 homilies and Heywood rather than Chaucer. Unusually for a proverb of this age, it appears to be native to English rather than translated from Latin or scripture.
Research Sources
References used to check this entry’s meaning, history, or documented forms.
Variants
- lead a horse to water
- you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink
- you can take a horse to water, but you can't make him drink
Usage Examples
- I have sent him every tutorial I could find, but you can lead a horse to water.
- The gym membership was a generous gift, yet she never went once - you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.
- We led the horse to water, so to speak, by arranging the interviews; the rest was up to him.