Meaning & origin

A shoulder to cry on

  • 2 sources
  • 4 alternate wordings
  • 3 usage examples
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Meaning

A person who offers sympathy and comfort to someone who is upset, chiefly by listening patiently rather than by fixing anything. Describes emotional availability, not practical help, and is almost always affectionate; it can name a one-off comforter or a standing role in a friendship or family. Sympathetic and informal to neutral in register, with an affectionate, supportive connotation. Regional use: General English.

Origin

A transparent literal image, a distressed person weeping with their head resting on another person's shoulder, that became idiomatic in the 20th century. The Online Etymology Dictionary dates the figurative verbal phrase 'to cry on (someone's) shoulder' to 1935; the nominal form naming the sympathetic listener followed and is now the more common shape. No hidden history is recorded: dictionaries treat it as a straightforward extension of physical comforting into emotional support.

Research Sources

References used to check this entry’s meaning, history, or documented forms.

  1. shoulder (n.) - etymology Online Etymology Dictionary
  2. a shoulder to cry on - Cambridge Dictionary Cambridge University Press

Variants

  • a shoulder to lean on
  • be a shoulder to cry on
  • cry on someone's shoulder
  • lend a shoulder

Usage Examples

  • After the funeral, she was grateful to have a shoulder to cry on.
  • He's a good shoulder to cry on, though he rarely offers advice.
  • Neighbours became a shoulder to cry on when the floods destroyed the harvest.

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